* How can the rest of the family and friends help?

I get offers by our family and friends to help but I'm unsure what to tell them. How can the rest of the family and friends help?

If you have younger children they are probably quite used to going to Mom for every little thing, and need to realize how tired, and unable to manage "the usual stuff" she is going to be for a while. Coach the children to be extra quiet when Mom is resting/sleeping, and let them know that for a certain amount of time they won't be able to have friends over. If you have neighbours who can have your kids over to play, even better!

Encourage the children to call a truce between siblings and enforce a 'no bickering' rule while mommy is home recuperating, and to ask another adult to help them out rather than Mom. While Mom is feeling fragile after surgery children have to be cautioned against climbing onto her lap or rough-housing near her -- but gentle hugs are strongly encouraged!

If friends or relatives offer to help out, contributions to meal preparation are always appreciated, so are those of transportation (for her to DR appts, or kids to soccer practice, etc.) or taking the children out for the day, night, week....

Once she's feeling a bit better - you might consider taking her out to lunch if she is up to it - but just lunch! then home -- no going to the mall, no movies....

If you can offer to pick up prescriptions, or personal items for her from the pharmacy/drug store that is a big help.

Leave phone numbers where you can be reached so she can call YOU when she's awake and feeling like a chat.

Once your wife is feeling better, she will want to get back into her normal routine -- but energy is likely to be a problem at first -- she will get tired very quickly, which is frustrating for her. If you can encourage her to maintain a pace that doesn't tucker her out too much you will really be helping her long-term recovery.