Wife has Changed

My wife had a hysterectomy 4 years ago and has been slowly changing. She has no sexual desires, and in the last year has lost the way she used to feel for me. We have gone through marriage counseling and she now says she just does not feel the same towards me. She is now sleeping and living in a differant part of the house. She will not even touch me. She is now looking to move out and end the marriage. She is not taking any hormones and has a poor diet. She gained a lot of weight after surgery and had a gastric bypass and lost a lot of weight. I have asked her to go get hormones checked but she has not. She says she does not know why she lost her feelings for me. I love her dearly and don't know what else to do. Can a hormone imbalance cause a change in feelings and emotions?

First, I am sorry to hear your wife is experiencing these issues so long after her hysterectomy. You obviously care for her very much.

Hormones could definitely be a source of her issues. They are extremely important to the proper function of many bodily systems. Your wife may not realize that there are more than 30 symptoms of menopause that can indicate hormonal imbalance. Hot flashes and night sweats are the most common symptoms but so are loss of sexual desire and depression.

You don't indicate if your wife was menopausal prior to her hysterectomy or if her ovaries were removed at the same time. If she was not menopausal and her ovaries were removed she would have experienced surgical menopause. The impact of surgical menopause can be much more severe than natural menopause. In fact the sudden cessation of hormones can trigger clinical depression in some women.

This sudden change can make a woman feel unknown to her self Your wife may be feeling like her body is a total stranger to her. Feelings and sensations that were present before may not be there any more. It is very difficult when some thing you knew so well suddenly no longer works like it used to and you don't know how to get comfortable in this new skin.

In addition the hysterectomy can trigger emotional issues that your wife may not have expected to happen. As girls reach puberty they are often told "you are a woman now" when they have there their first period. If this was the case for your wife she may be thinking "what am I now that I can't have children or periods?" She may think that there isn't any way anyone could be attracted to her anymore. It can be difficult for her to realize that her womanhood is tied to her heart, brain and dna and not her reproductive organs.

All of these factors can compound the sense of unfamiliarity and depression. If your wife is no longer interested in activities that were pleasurable to her before, isn't interested in interacting with people and feels a sense of oppressing gloom that things won't ever get better she is experiencing depression.

You can help her by making and going with her to an doctor's appointment to get her hormones checked and discuss depression. Make sure you call the doctor first to make sure they understand the importance of hormones unfortunately some of them don't get it. You wouldn't want her being dismissed by a doctor in her time of need.

I hope you find the help and support both of you need.