it's not that I don't want sex - what I wish you understood

by smendes

It's not that I don't want sex....

Its that it hurts. Its a disaster for me every time. I'm afraid to even start because half way through all I can think about is pain, regret, & how much I wish it was over. I am in pain almost all the time. When the pain gets really bad, I pee myself. Do you know how embarrassing that is? Do you know how much anxiety that causes, especially during a sex? After we went to the club in August, I ended up in the ER 2 days later in unbearable pain. I told you I was working late because I know how much it upsets you to think that you hurt me. I went to the doctor that week & he thinks the endo is back & affecting my sciatic nerve, which is a whole other source of pain.

I'm sorry you feel rejected, I'm sorry I can't satisfy your needs. I wish I could.