From being my rock to me feeling alone

by Sunny888

If I were writing this yesterday, this letter would be "to my beloved husband, my best friend."
Because it's today, and today we fought, I feel like you are slipping away.
I've bragged about you and ppl have put us on some kind of relationship pedestal since waaay before my surgery and our friends and family could not get over how lucky I could be to have you, my greatest supporter, my champion, my hero, taking such good care of me.
This evening, I felt none of that.
I don't know if everything is just getting to you - and me.
Maybe we are both sick and tired of me being sick and tired.
Our love, for 26 years, has gotten us through worse than this. But today I felt no love, just anger and resentment.
I can't give you children, I can't work right now, I do more around the house than I should because I'm afraid YOU do too much.
I feel more alone than I ever have and if you and I are fighting...., I don't have my best friend to talk to. I have no one else.
Tonight you came to bed and no words were spoken. And I lie here crying because I realize I am truly alone.
Tomorrow is another day and I honestly can't get through this without you. I'm terrified you will leave because I have nothing left to offer you.
My love was once enough. I hope it still is.

Loving you always,