Dear husband and family by Christie13
I feel so alone in all of this. First day 2 post op, you leave me alone to travel for work. Alone with the kids, dogs, house, responsibilities. No one in my family offered to help, none of my friends. Like I should just be able to handle this. I had to call my ex husband to take the kids, who to say the least was not understanding. finally a week and a half later you come home and do what the first day? Sleep! The whole day. Not tackle the mountain of laundry, dishes or housework. Not keep the kids occupied so I can rest. This first weekend you complain because I want help doing the Christmas shopping I haven't begun, you're tired, you worked long hours. Never once thinking, hey my wife had continued to work, against doctors orders, and held everything down, after having major surgery, let me help HER. and if I say anything you say I choose to work, I didn't have to. But yet the bills wouldn't get paid and no one would have Christmas if I didn't.
'Whats wrong?' You say this 50 times a day. I DON'T HAVE AN ANSWER. I don't know. Extended family, 'is it the surgery?' 'are you on pain?' Duh, yes it's the surgery, yes I'm in pain, more emotionally than physically, which has me stumped because I didn't expect it. Although it was my worst fear.
Less than one well post op I got bronchitis, double ear infections, sinus infection, and laryngitis...still I'm expected to just bounce back! I'm trying, believe me I want to, just as badly as you want me to!
When I address my fears about sex after to you, you say I'm readying too much into this...expecting the worst. That's because the worst is happening and I fear it will continue. 'don't worry once your pain is gone, this will end' you tell me. I don't think it will!!
Just hold me, tell me we will find a way. Massage my aching back, do some household chores, give me an afternoon off, love me, support me, please.