My Dearest Rich and children...

Hunny.... I am writing you just to let you know a few things... It has been 5 WONDERFUL years. We have 4 of the most beautiful children I have ever laid eyes on.. I know your 3 are not my biological children, but I could not love them anymore if they were my own. I want to thank you for being the way you are with my son. I could not have asked for a better role model for him. I know I have let us down on having a child of our own and for that I am sorry. I am also sorry for being so sick for the past 5 years, I dont know how you have stuck around and pushed through all that I have put you through. For that you are truly amazing. You have been there through the truly "ugly" things, mood swings, not being able to work, and being so depressed I ended up in the psych ward. I don't know how you do it!! I have felt so insecure in our relationship, and thought more than a few times you were going to walk right out the door and never look back. But you stayed right by my side, held me close, let me cry, and always said " I love you baby, it's going to be ok, I'm not going anywhere!" I have never known love like the love you have shown me. You truly are my soulmate, and my bestfriend. The procedure I am about to have has me so scared that you are going to look at me differently, or that I am going to change so drasticaly, that I wont be the same person you fell in love with and this time you will walk. This surgery is going to change my life forever. I really need you now more than ever. I am so scared baby.. I may not show it when you are around, but I just don't want you to think about me crying myself to sleep at night, and I know you hate it when I am sad. But it's the truth, I am sad. I know you are sad too, I know you wanted us to have a child together, and you just want my health to improve, and if this is the only way you are ok with that.. I am not. I need you to be as strong as you are now, after my surgery. I will need your help in so many ways, and I know you will be there for me when I need to get up and go to the bathroom and stuff, BUt I need you to be there when I need to cry, yell, scream or just plain vent.. I know this is a weird request, but I want you to do the same thing. I need you to tell me how you are feeling. I need to know that you are not SUPER HUMAN and nothing bothers you.. If you feel like i have let us down I need you to tell me. I know things will be ok, that I will pull through this and life will go on, but in the rare case something should go wrong, I need to let you know some stuff.. I have loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you. I have NEVER even once thought about having an affair, you have always been the sexiest man alive in my eyes. You have made the last 5 years the funniest, and happiest years of my life. I want to thank you for that. You have made me laugh so hard I thought I was going to pee my pants, and thats a DAILY thing. Not many people have that. You have made me see that not every man will treat me like I am only here as a human punching bag and that I deserve to be the ONLY woman in a relationship, and that I am worthy of being loved. You will never know how much I truly love you. You are my heart. I have known what it is like to have a mother/daughter/bestfriend realtionship with your daughters, and now I know what my mom felt with me. I didnt think I was ever going to know that feeling. You have the most amazing, beautiful, bright daughters that are going to grow up to be something truly amazing. Your son is a s#&% disturber, but God bless him. He is a great man. He takes after his father. I love him so much, and I know that he is going to be an amazing father just like you are. We have alot to deal with that is coming up really fast. I know that with the love and support you have shown me in the past, I will be able to make it through what ever life throws at me.. I love you more than words will ever say. You are my heart, my soul, my life. I truly love you.

Your Babydoll
Delina