What would I do without you?


Good Morning, Honey. I am two days away from my surgery and I know we are both feeling the stress although neither of us really admit it much. Hyster-sisters suggested that I write a note to you so that you will know exactly how I am feeling and what you mean to me. As you know, we have been together almost 5 1/2 years and they have been the happiest days of my entire life because you make me feel so darn safe and secure...not to mentioned loved beyond anything I could have imagined before I met you. Kenn, you are the reason that I went to the doctor in the first place and you turned out to be the reason I am alive today...and I thank God for every moment that I get to sleep next to you and feel your warmth. I know I haven't been the easiest person to deal with this week, but I am scared. Everything in my health has been going to wrong this year that I am terrified that something will happen to me with this surgery although I am in the best possible health for me to have it done. I am scared that you will not be able to stay with me in the hospital. I am scared that I will be too difficult to care for when we get home. I know that you will care for me...that is not a concern. You make my wonderful smoothies to take those yucky 18 pills a day because you know it is easier for me to crush them and take them that way. Each smoothie is made with love. When I take one out of the freezer to thaw when you are at work, it brings a smile to my face because I know that you did it just for me because you care about my well being. I want our life to get back to normal so I can go back to work and we can go on all the trips that we love to take so much. I worry about your health because I know that all of this stress plays such a role in elevating your blood sugar...not to mention your blood pressure. I love you with all of my heart, soul, and being. I would be 1/2 the person I am today if you had not entered my life when you did. I know I am rambling, but I am a little tearful today as this surgery looms ahead, plus I was sick again last night...just when I thought that was over with for a while. I love you so much. Just having you rub my head or my back relaxes me beyond all belief and gives me such a sense of peace and calmness that can only be described as "serenity". I hope I can only give to you the same feeling of love and devotion that you give to me. I love you. It will be OK. I know that you are being forgetful because you are overwhelmed by what is facing us. Together...nothing can harm us. Remember that.
All my love,