At the end of the rainbow.....

by noovariesinnc

[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue].....[SIZE=3]I found pot of gold!

Danial, I know that you remember the first time we ever met as well as I do. You brought in a patient on a stretcher and I was working that day. Room # 7 it was. What a lucky number that day! Who ever would have thought that day that in the future we would be married. As time passed and each time you walked through those ER doors, we shared a glance, then a hello, then maybe a short friendly conversation. We became best friends before long. It got to be where I could not lay down at night and rest without hearing your voice say sweet dreams. You were always there for me when I needed a friend and a shoulder to lean on. I thank you for that! I know I must have made you crazy at times and I am sorry for that. As time went on we knew that it was destiny that brought us together. I remember our little day trip we took to the beach and the gift you gave me. It was only 1998, but the little ceramic bear you gave me had a 1999 carved into the tree with the word "joy"! Sure enough without us knowing at that day and time, we found our joy in 1999 when we became man and wife. But a few months before we were married, we had to make a life decision that would affect us for the rest of our life together as man and wife. We had to face the fact that when we married there would be no biological children for us to carry on that wonderful gene pool or yours! Yes, we made the right decision for me, medically, but It didn't lessen my pain for what we had to give up as a couple. I always knew in my heart that you would make such a great father to our children. I think back to how you slept every night in my hospital room by my bedside, through the freezing temp....LOL, and when I wanted something good to eat or drink you would sneak me in something! That was very special of you, always thinking of me and never yourself.

After 6 years of marriage, I love you more today than the day I married you. You have taken care of me and seemed to have always put me first and I want to tell you thank you and I appreciate everything that you have ever done for us! (You still think of me before yourself and I guess I should apologize because I know at times with my moods you have felt I never thought of you first. ) We have had some ups and downs, more ups though.....but even those downs have helped us to grow closer and stronger as a couple. We have shared so much fun and excitement, from vacations to TN and Hawaii! WoW, what a trip that was huh? We have made our own little family from having Roscoe, Zeko, Daisy, Dolly, Jingles, Sissy and all the little fishies (that are now in little children think you are a wonderful father and they appreciate you. Also...even though I know all those mother's day letters/cards/gifts came from all my little one's, I know they had a little help from you! Like always, you have a heart of gold! But I do admit, some times because of the wonderful man you are, I feel as if I have cheated you. I know that you love me, and you have NEVER made me feel bad or guilty and you have NEVER made me feel as if you wished you hadn't married me because of the not being able to have children, But.....sometimes I have felt because of you being such a wonderful young man, you could have had much more if you hadn't met me. I think about maybe still there is a chance for you. I know there is that age difference thing between know, me 38 and you 29....I think maybe when and if I die while you are still pretty young, you could still meet that other special woman (beside's me) and still have a chance to have kids. I know , I know, You are telling me that I am crazy! I can't help the way I feel though. I know that you have told me that it is all ok and that you really don't want kids anyway, but I do remember when we were dating, you did speak of me in your letters as being the mother of your children! See I may be older than you, but I still have a good memory! LOL....Bottom line, I love you and I know you love me, but I am still sorry for the way things turned out in the children catergory. I would have loved to have had your baby, for he or she would have your looks....and my brains....hehehe!

Hopefully by the grace of God we still have so many years left ahead of us of just being together and so in love. I want to grow old with you, or rather....I want you to make sure that I have that wonderful view from my nursing home window when we move to TN. When you get finished with med school, or get finished racing your last nascar race, whichever you finish first....and you have made all those millions, then maybe you can just bring me on home and hire that home health nurse that you talked about so take care of me!

I love you!! You are my best bud! Inspite of my grumpiness and your always cheery smiling have always made me smile and enjoy life when I no longer thought I could. You have been my inspiration. God knew that I needed someone so loving and special in my life, that is why he lead me to you. Just like you always told me ...."there is a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow"...

You were right! I found my pot of gold......YOU!

I will FOREVER and ALWAYS love you with ALL my heart!