My Dear Eric

by torigi

You know this isn't like me. Spending my hours on the internet and now I'm actually corresponding with people. Somehow, this is all I want to do right now. I found this Dear Honey section by accident and started reading what other women wrote to the men they love and I couldn't stop crying. I wanted to tell you how much you mean to me like these other women were telling their husbands.

You know I've been down this surgical road before, but this one is the most major surgery I have ever gone through... the repercussions are so great and I know you know that. I am so sad. I can't stop crying and I can't stop typing. Nothing else brings me comfort right now.... If you ever come across this I want you to know that I think you are GREAT.. a truly amazing man. Your support of me is immeasurable. I've been dealing with this stuff for so many years and I've had other men around for some of those times. No one has ever been what you are. You are my earth. I believe in us in a way that I have never believed. It breaks my heart to know for a fact that I will never have your child growing inside me. Even though we never planned for that and always knew with my history and your vasectomy that children weren't really an option. It's different to know that there can be no trying, no hoping, no pretending.

I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you. I've always known that even when I didn't. The crazy thing is, that statement probably makes sense to you. I know you will love me on the other side of this surgery. But, I'm so scared. I'm so afraid of the changes in my body and how that might affect the amazing sex life we have.. I know you think we are special and that our sexual desires are beyond anything surgery can affect and I pray you are right about that... I really do. I can live without children that come from my body, but I can't live without the sexual connection we have created. Help me, help us, keep it alive.

I love you more than anything in this world and I am so thankful to have you next to me as I go through this. You are my rock, my one and only true love. I need you more than ever. More than I ever wanted to need anyone.. I need you. Thank you my love. Thank you for being here. Maybe that's really all I need. Just to have you here. Always, Stacey