Thanks but no thanks

by EsmereldaPea

Dear "honey" -

Thank you for saying such tender things and giving me your support when I first found out I was sick.

Thank you for crying with relief when you first saw me Post-Op.

Thank you for being there practically every day I was in the hospital

Thank you for doing my laundry for 6 weeks.

Thank you for making sure I had my water, pills, etc.

Thank you for picking up the slack financially when I couldn't work

Thank you for reminding me to take my tummy pillow when we went on car rides.

Thank you for walking the dog for 8 weeks.

. . . and weeding the garden, and loading and unloading the dishwasher, lifting things for me, picking things up for me.

Shame on you for:

- making me feel guilty for all of the things you did for me

- asking me to move out 2 weeks before surgery and then again a week after (I'm finally listening 10 weeks post-op, as you've made my life miserable)

- giving me such a hard time when I asked you to wash my feet my 1st morning home from the hospital

- telling me to "get over it" when I confided in you my sorrow over losing my ovaries (and other parts)

- not believing me when the doc said I needed an additional 2 weeks of rest - even the doctor's written instructions weren't good enough for you!

- not giving me the same level of emotional support during this life-changing surgery as I have given you in the last year when you lost your mother unexpectedly, you quit your job and couldn't find one in your desired field, you felt dumb when you couldn't pass certification exams, and listening to you complain about the job you did finally take.

- criticizing me for not working when I have been busting my tailfeathers for the last 2 weeks since I got released to go back to work fulltime. Yes, I know there's been no income yet, but how many 2-week sales cycles and project turn-arounds did YOU see in your first two weeks on the job?? You've worked for yourself before, you know the drill.

- criticizing me for not giving the dog a bath when you said you'd do it 6 weeks ago (when I couldn't) and didn't. I finally gave her one.

- finding everything to complain about and nothing to encourage me about

- not believing in me

- asking me to get a "regular" job and then not being satisfied once I've got 2 part-time "regular" jobs lined up in addition to my business.

- not showing any interest in me sexually, and not showing any initiative to honor my need to make plenty of time, be treated tenderly, and take things slow the first time (the only time you showed any interest was a workday morning, and we still haven't made love - guess we never will now)

- crushing my spirit (but only temporarily)

Hasta la vista, baby!