Dear CR,

I have loved you more than you'll ever know these past 16 years, I've known you. You were the man of my dreams. The only one for me, I never looked at another.
You and I said we were soulmates, like swans, mated for life. I had peace with your constant assurances.
You stood by me through 9 years of rheumatoid arthritis, when I thought you might have left. My chronic undiagnosed neck pain took it's toll on me as well. Still, I was grateful and thankful for my/our life, and far from depressed.
Then what I thought was menopause, were symptoms of a huge fibroid.

As I bled more and more, you said you were 'missing that intimate connection' with me.

As I was in pain, you said you 'weren't in love with me', and I was a burden.

Still, you said you weren't leaving me.

Then you left.

You left me for another woman. A younger woman.
I know of nothing crueler in this world than to tell your 48 yr old wife, that it was a mistake not to have children, and that you want biological children.
I am still stunned by how quickly and with such ease, you discarded me, I felt like garbage.
You never looked back.

Our vows:
"in sickness and in health" ------------"till death do us part"
replaced by:
until 'you get a better offer'----------or until 'it's not working for ya'

Thanks for telling the world, on Facebook, just days after you left me, how happy you are, and how much you 'love life'.

What exactly shall we take away from this ordeal of a marriage?
For you, that you are a liar, and someone who cheats on his wife. You cannot change that. It is in the history books. It IS your character now.

What am I taking away?

Scars. The scars of having trusted somebody completely and loved somebody completely, and never being able to do that again.
Regrets. The biggest mistake of my life. I regret ever giving you that chance, in Vancouver that day. Look where it got me. All of my memories and photos, tainted by your false words and promises.


Feb. 2, 2010 TAH
How I wish the husband I knew was there for me, in the hospital, when I woke to so much pain. To touch my face, or kiss my hand. But there was no one.


On this, our would have been 12th wedding Anniversary, there is one more damaged and broken person in the world, thanks to you.

You left me when I needed you the most, and I will never forget.

I do this alone.

Farewell forever,

RR