Dear Sweetie:

I love you so much.

I so appreciate the fact you call this “our cancer”.

I don’t ever want to leave you. I pray that I don’t, and that we die together in our sleep 50 years from now, after spending the day biking (me) and skateboarding (you). But, if I do, I don’t want you to close yourself up. I want you to continue to work hard and play hard, and find someone to play with.

It will be tough, but you are stronger than you think. You will get through all the paperwork crap, and will figure out what to do. You can sell the house so you don’t have to deal with upkeep, and buy a condo where the snowboards will have their own room.

Let the vet deal with the kitty’s special needs that are too much for you. Once she passes, get yourself a puppy (that you are not allergic to) that will need you to take care of it. You will like feeling needed. (Plus, puppies are chick magnets…or so I’ve heard.)

Hire a dog walker so that you don’t feel rushed to come home in the afternoon from work and end up resenting the puppy. While you are at it, hire a housecleaner, and maybe an accountant, until you are comfortable with those things.

I hope you don’t regret our decision to not have children. But, if you do, make sure your next partner knows that.

Wow, am I always this bossy?

I can’t believe the cute boy I picked up at the dorm party almost 23 years ago came back the next day to take me grocery shopping….and is still around. I am so LUCKY!

I’ve loved our years together, and have no regrets. You have made me feel unbelievably special, sexy and loved. I cannot express how happy you have made me. I hope I’ve done the same for you.

I know this cancer is treatable, and I probably won’t even need further treatments after the surgery. This will just end up being a bleep in our long life together – and that I will be healthier by Christmas this year than I have been in years. But, I feel better expressing these thoughts – even anonymously.

Don’t ever forget – I love you! You are perfect the way you are. If I do leave you, please know that you did everything you could for me – you could not have done anything differently.

I LOVE YOU and I know you love me. See you on the flip side.

Me